


Furry Little Problem

by milou407



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fic Exchange, Married Life, Puppies, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 04:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21247688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milou407/pseuds/milou407
Summary: Vex gives him a Look. “If I had seen anyone abandon a box of puppies, do you think they would have escaped unscathed? Or that I would have let them unabandon the puppies?”Or: Vex rescues a box of puppies and Percy is long-suffering.





	Furry Little Problem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [voidsygil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidsygil/gifts).

> This is for booklesb (on tumblr) and I hope you like it! I went a bit...off the rails. But it's modern and domestic! So I hope it still fits.

“Vex’ahlia, darling?” Percival stares, one hand still on the door handle.

“Yes, Percy dear?” The answering call comes from around the doorframe, out of sight. 

“I seem to remember us only having one dog when I left the apartment this morning.” He closes the door sharply, nudging a happy, wriggling puppy back from its escape attempt.

Vex hums in agreement, “That is true. There was only one dog when you left.” Another sopping wet puppy bounds out of the bathroom and pounces on Percy’s shoe, chewing at the laces and making Percy smile despite himself. 

He kneels down and picks up both puppies, the one attached to his shoe and the other who is currently on her back begging for a belly rub, tucking one under each arm. It’s not hard, neither of the puppies is larger than a loaf of bread, even if they’re both wiggling with excitement. 

“Yes, you’re very sweet,” he says to the one dog trying to lick his face, “But I would like to know exactly where you came…from…” 

He trails off when he rounds the doorway into the bathroom. Vex’ahlia kneels next to the bathtub, a quarter of the way full with soapy water, and the rest of the way filled with energetic pups. The bathroom floor is near flooded and the rest of the puppies are only making it worse, trying to escape their confinement. Vex is kneeling next to the tub, laughing and trying to keep at least some of the puppies in and poor Trinket is sitting watch in the corner. They’re fairly well soaked as well, but where Trinket gives Percy a much put-upon look, Vex only has delight in her smile. 

Goddammit. He won’t have seven dogs in their home, he just won’t. He loves Trinket, he truly does, but one dog is plenty for the two of them in their shared apartment, especially one Trinket’s size.

“Vex’ahlia.” He uses what Keyleth calls his “Most Very Serious” voice to convey that he Means Business. “Where did you acquire these puppies?” 

Her smile turns immediately to the big, sad eyes and furrowed brow he’s very familiar with, but there’s real upset in them and his heart just breaks at that. She picks up one of the puppies and cradles it to her chest, kissing its head before she sighs. “Oh, Percy, it was the saddest thing. I took Trinket out for a walk when I got home after class and we were walking by an alley way – you know, the one behind the bar that Grog and Scanlan were thrown out of last week? – and Trinket started pulling. Well, he pulled toward a box and it was whimpering and crying and Percy – “ She turns to look at Percy and he gets a double hit of puppy eyes and it’s a wonder he doesn’t melt right there. “ – Someone had left them there! Just left them in a box to be taken out with the trash and I couldn’t just _leave_ them.”

He sighs and puts the puppies in his arms back down, ducking out to grab some towels out of the linen closet. He sits down next to Vex, despite the water soaking into his trousers, and grabs the nearest escaped puppy to tousle with a towel. “You didn’t see anyone near the box?”

Vex gives him a Look. “If I had _seen_ anyone abandon a box of puppies, do you think they would have escaped unscathed? Or that I would have let them unabandon the puppies?” She takes a towel and dries her hair before picking up another puppy to dry. 

Percy sighs again. “No, and for good reason.” He sets his slightly drier pup down and leans over to drain the bath. He traps another puppy under his towel and picks it up like a baby to rub it dry. “Vex’ahlia–“

“_Please,_ Percy.”

“No, Vex, we’ve _talked_ about this – “

“They have nowhere to go! Percival, you can’t throw these helpless pups out on the street!”

“I’m not saying we _throw_ them anywhere, but there must be people looking for pets – “ 

“And just give our babies to _strangers?_” Vex looks horrified and Percy sighs once again. This is not going to end well for him. 

“Vex. We’re not even supposed to have Trinket in the apartment–“ 

“He’s on the lease!”

“Only because we threatened the landlord, dear.”

“Oh, right.”

“Which I don’t regret, I simply think seven dogs will be too much for the two of us to handle.”

“They’re all terribly well behaved! Not one of them has piddled on the carpet since they’ve been here.” Vex’ahlia sends a sharp look toward the puppy in Percy’s arms. “Well, except for Mercutio.” 

“Mercutio?” Percy looks at his pup, who yaps and licks at his nose. “Behave, please.”

“Just a small accident, nothing to worry about.” Vex waves the concern away. “Please, Percy. We don’t have to keep them forever, but at least for now? We’ll train them and teach them manners and they’ll be the best-behaved pack you’ve ever seen. Won’t you? Yes, you will.” She smiles at the puppy in her hands and nuzzles at his belly before kissing his nose.

Percy watches Vex and her adoring expression and then back down at the blanket-wrapped puppy he’s cradling. Mercutio licks his nose again and whines pitifully. 

He sighs and accepts that he really never stood a chance.

\---- 

“Let’s be clear: I will not be tolerating any misbehavior or foolishness. We will get out of the apartment in a reasonable amount of time, have an enjoyable and safe outing at the park, and return in enough time to prepare dinner for all of you, myself, and Vex. Am I understood?”

Six pairs of eyes stare up at him in fascination, but not with any particular comprehension. Portia yaps and is pounced on by Brutus.

“Right. Collars and leashes for everyone, then.” It’s important to note that most of Percy’s experience with dogs has involved Trinket, who, he is realizing, is extraordinarily well behaved, and not filled with eight-week-old puppy energy. 

He is particularly glad that Vex isn’t around to see the absolute mess he makes of getting everyone ready for their walk. Or the way the dogs look doubtfully at the stairs down to the ground level.

Trinket, with a leash attached solely for appearances’ sake, pads down the stairs without difficulty and sits at the bottom, watching Percy with a judgmental air. 

Percy watches as Helena tentatively reaches a paw down, but the difference is too tall for her to be able to take a step. She whines, lying down and placing her head on her paws. 

“Well, you have to get down there one way or another. I suppose we’re going to do this the old-fashioned way.” He hoists a puppy in each arm and starts down the stairs. He hopes that the outing will only get easier once they get down the stairs.

Unfortunately, he is wrong.

\--- 

_Vex’ahlia: percy_

_Me: Yes, dear?_

_Vex’ahlia: i received the most interesting call from our downstairs neighbor a few minutes ago_

_Me: Do tell._

_Vex’ahlia: apparently they saw you carry six puppies down the stairs_

_Vex’ahlia: and then attempt to walk them to the park_

_Vex’ahlia: i say attempt because they said you were fairly pulled along and got a bit turned around with all the leashes_

_Vex’ahlia: would you know anything about that?_

_Me: I’m sure I don’t know what they’re talking about. The dogs and I had a lovely walk this afternoon._

_Me: Incidentally, I’ve learned that it is very difficult for the pups to go up and down stairs, but they’ve been very good at learning ‘sit’ and ‘stay’ commands. We’re still working on ‘heel’._

_Vex’ahlia: i’m sure you did admirably_

_Vex’ahlia: want me to pick up dinner?_

_Me: Oh God, please._

_Vex’ahlia: chinese?_

_Me: I love you._

_Vex’ahlia: i know_

\----

“When you said six puppies, I didn’t really think you meant six entire puppies.”

Percy looks away from the chaos that is the floor of the small examination room at their local animal hospital and raises an eyebrow at Keyleth. “What exactly did you think I meant?”

“I don’t know, I figured it was hyperbole or something, but in hindsight it does seem like something that would happen to you.” Keyleth scoops a puppy up and onto the table, Perdita according to her collar, conducting her examination quickly and warmly. 

“How could we seem like the type to acquire multiple puppies?” 

“The two most compassionate people I know? I’m surprised you don’t have all kinds of woodland creatures following you around.” Two quick vaccines and Perdita is given a quick kiss on the head before she’s traded for a new puppy. 

“Right. Well.” Percy clears his throat gruffly. “That’s certainly more due to Vex’s influence than mine.”

Keyleth raises an eyebrow at him. “Oh, you can’t fool me, Percival de Rolo. I know what a softy you are at heart.”

Percy really isn’t paying all that much attention to the conversation, he’s quite distracted by the sight of Vex laughing on the ground with Brutus and Rosalind licking at her face. “Mm. Perhaps you’re right.”

“I know I am. Now,” After he gets his shots, she lifts Mercutio up to smile at him, “Let’s see about getting you fixed, little man.”

Percy winces in commiseration as Mercutio whimpers pitifully. 

\---- 

There are very few things as charming as six pups in what Vex has termed ‘cones of shame’ trying to waddle their way through dinner. Watching all six of them fall asleep on Trinket might even be more so. 

“Should we rescue him?” He whispers to Vex as she comes up behind his shoulder, accepting the cup of tea she hands him with a kiss of thanks. Trinket looks at them and gives a low woof around where Rosalind has fallen asleep on his snout, sad brown eyes pleading. 

“Oh, he’s fine, he’s being a big baby.” Vex hooks her chin over Percy’s shoulder and wraps her arms around him. “He’ll get used to them after a while.”

Percy narrows his eyes and sips at his tea suspiciously. “Or he would, if we were keeping them.”

“Right.”

“Which we’re not.” 

“Sure.”

“That would be preposterous.”

“Of course. It’s not like we’ve gone and named them all.”

“Well we couldn’t only name some of them. And once you started us on a theme, well.” 

“Reasonable, as always. And you certainly haven’t fallen in love with them.” 

Percy huffs and sips his tea again. “I don’t think I like the turn this conversation has taken.”

“Could I possibly distract you with sex?”

“You know, I think we could definitely give it a try.”

\---- 

Percy is reading on the couch when his attention is caught by quiet whining to his right. Helena sits next to the couch, staring up at him with her blue puppy eyes and ears cocked hopefully.

“Absolutely not. We’ve decided that there will be no dogs on the couches. Even Trinket isn’t allowed on the furniture.”

Helena lets out a bark which fades into a whine, waddling closer and laying her nose on the edge of the cushion.

“If I let you break the rules, where will it end? I’m sorry, my dear, but I can’t do it.”

Mercutio toddles over and the whining starts in stereo. Percy glances over to where Trinket is sleeping half in and half out of the room, brown furry back facing the three of them. He reaches down and quickly scoops up both pups, lying back down on the couch and settling Helena on his chest and Mercutio at his side.

“Now,” he whispers, “We’re not to tell any of your siblings or Vex about this. It’ll be our little secret, and it will not happen again. Am I understood?”

Helena licks his chin and Mercutio starts snoring.

“Hmph.” Percy settles back in with his book, absently running his fingers through Helena’s fur.

\---- 

There exists a picture in the Vox Machina group chat of a certain Percival de Rolo asleep on the couch, cradling two small puppies against him. It’s now his contact photo in all of his friends’ phones, and it’s also Vex’s lock screen. 

Percy bears this with incredible dignity.

\---- 

The next week, a terrible thunderstorm tears through the city. Nothing of emergency level proportions, but there are great storm clouds rolling in and Percy is grateful to be inside. 

As per usual, it takes Vex dragging him out of his workshop for Percy to come to bed, but it’s not as difficult as it might have been years before. She smiles into his kiss as she leads him into their bedroom, and thunder sounds outside the windows. Percy kicks the door shut behind him and tumbles the both of them into bed. He’s got one hand up her shirt and Vex has both hands on his ass when the first whine sounds outside their door. 

They both freeze and turn towards the door. “Maybe if we’re very quiet, they’ll forget we’re in here,” Percy whispers. 

Another crash of thunder sounds and the whining begins again, this time louder and with three distinct participants. Vex sighs, “Not fucking likely.”

“In all fairness, the thunder is very loud, and they are very small, I can understand why they’re worried,” Percy sighs, rising from the bed, and goes into the bathroom to get ready to sleep. He comes back out, drying his face with a towel, and looks up to see Vex sitting up in their bed, surrounded by puppies.

“Okay, in my defense, they weren’t going to stop whining until we went out there, or they came in here.” Vex’s face is a mask of innocence, and she cuddles one of the puppies against her chest shamelessly.

“Vex’ahlia. There are no dogs in our bed. Even Trinket isn’t allowed on the bed.”

Another clap of thunder sounds loud enough to shake the windows. All of the pups cower, cuddling closer to each other and deeper into the duvet. Mercutio, settled right up near Percy’s pillow, whines pitifully, and Percy’s heart breaks just a little bit. 

“Well,” he says, “It’s only for the one night, because of the storm.”

Vex just smiles at him.

\----

Saturday mornings are one of Percy’s very favorite things. Neither he or Vex have work, and they make a point of not making early morning plans so that they can stay in bed as late as they like. It always feels luxurious, like they’re getting away with something they shouldn’t, but he wouldn’t trade the soft warmth of being cuddled up with Vex for anything. He’s not usually a morning person but having Vex there to wake up to certainly helps.

What those Saturday mornings haven’t include are cold, wet puppy noses snuffling against his neck. But they do now, apparently.

“Mmph?” He cracks one eye open to see the face of the culprit right in front of his own. Brutus yips and licks his face before jumping down off the bed. Percy sits up and squints, slightly confused at the wriggling fluffballs in his bed.

“Morning, grumpy,” Vex says from the doorway, where she’s watching with open affection as he blinks sleepily.

Percy squints at her and pets at the dog in his lap. This is why he’s not a morning person, it always feels like his brain is running at half power first thing in the morning.

Vex laughs at him gently and comes to sit on the edge of the bed with a cup of coffee. Percy makes sad eyes at her and her drink until she lets him take the mug. She kisses his forehead and says, “Having a good cuddle with the babies?”

He grunts in reluctant agreement and pulls her more fully into his lap. “‘S not a good cuddle without you.”

Vex laughs again and snags the cup to set it gently on the nightstand. “Silly, sentimental man.” She kisses the spot beneath his jaw that makes him shiver. “I do love you so.”

“I love you too.” He holds her more tightly. “Although I would appreciate if you would stop bringing litters of puppies into our home.” 

“Oh, sweetheart.” She pets his hair with a condescending air, “I think we both know I’ll do as I please.”

Percy sighs and kisses her cheek. “I know, and that is why I love you. Although I swear, you’re going to be the death of me.”

She just smiles and pulls the duvet up and over them both. She also tugs Brutus from where he’s near the edge of the mattress and pulls him close to join in on their cuddle. “But what a way to go, darling.”

\---- 

“Vex’ahlia, please.”

She bites her lip and shakes her head. 

“Vex, please be reasonable. This is the third time this has happened, it cannot be a surprise.”

A sob breaks free and she flings herself against Percy’s chest. “It’s not fair!”

“I know, my darling.” He holds her and pets her hair gently. “But look how happy she is.”

Indeed, the little girl who’d come over with her parents to look at the puppies is playing happily in the yard with Portia. 

“Why couldn’t we have kept them all? They’re so perfect.” Vex wipes her eyes and gazes mournfully at the child laughing at the puppy’s antics.

Percy sighs and pulls her back against his front, pressing their cheeks together. “Because our apartment can’t handle six more dogs, and we’re not ready to be parents to seven furry children.”

She looks up at him with alarm. “But you promised – “

“And I will keep my promise. But I’ll maintain that we’re not ready for seven. If we ever move out, then we can reconsider.”

Vex rests her head against his shoulder and he can feel her deflate a little. “I’ll be holding you to that.”

Percy smiles and kisses her neck. “I would be disappointed if you didn’t.”

The little girl bounds up to the two of them with Portia following closely. “Miss Vex?”

Vex immediately drops into a crouch and smiles at her. “Were you having fun with the puppy, sweetheart?”

The girl – Stella, Percy thinks – grins even bigger and pets Portia’s head. The dog collapses on the grass, grateful for the break, and pants heavily. “Yes, thank you. Can I really take her home with me?”

Vex’s expression gets a little more serious and she takes Stella’s hands in her own. “Do you promise me that you’ll love her very, very much and take very good care of her?”

Stella gazes at Vex with wide, adoring eyes and nods solemnly. “Yes, Miss Vex. I promise, I will. And I’ll bring her by to visit so much, so you won’t miss her!”

Vex smiles again, squeezing the girls’ hands. “I would like that very much. Let’s go talk to your parents and see what they have to say.” She keeps holding one of the girl’s hands and walks her over to where her parents have been watching the proceedings with amusement.

Percy is left behind with Portia, who looks up at him from her spot on the grass and yaps once. He swings her up into his arms and gives her belly a rub. “Come on, lazy girl. Let’s go meet your new family.”

\----

For years, Saturday mornings have been sacred in the de Rolo household. Percy adores the time spent burrowed under the covers, particularly when he can just roll over and pull his wife closer for a good, long cuddle.

Before long, these mornings are usually interrupted by whining and scratching if they managed to get to bed with being followed in, but more often than not they’re interrupted by cold, wet noses being pressed against legs, hands, or the back of Percy’s neck. He’ll groan and Vex will just laugh and call the dogs up onto the bed. Helena settles immediately with her head on Percy’s hip or chest, and Mercutio will cuddle up to Vex, licking at her face and wiggling closer for pets. Trinket watches from the floor, too dignified (and still too big) to join, except on special occasions. Percy will grumble about dog hair in the bed and Vex will kiss him quiet and promise to change the sheets (again). 

For better or for worse, their Saturday mornings include more puppy noses and less quiet cuddles, but Percy is learning to prefer the noise.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
